Dimi why you not up

So last night I left the bar alone obviously because #nogame. What happened after was a pretty standard night just Tindering and drunk-eating doritos by myself.       

UPDATE: DIMI

I will continue to message him  with alternating "Dimi why you not up" and "Dimi why you up" until he either blocks me or asks me out on a date. Place your bets now. 

Dimi is up. 

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EXPERIMENT: ASK JOSEPH ON A DATE

omg

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Kind of messed up the wording to Chris. Difficulty with his bio #drunk

Great and noble, not long and noble. Glad I can read. It's already over.

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Ok, now onto Sam. 

I'm just gonna go for it.

He's kind of on to something in this next one. 

You're right. My girlfriends are laughing at this. 

Now back to the action. 

No Sam, I do not want you to lather up my breasts in the shower. Thanks for offering. 

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Erick is not even near me. 

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I had a joke for Eric last night. 

I cannot remember where I was going with that. 

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Woohoo! Chris responded. 

My life in a nutshell ^

got news for ya:

I waited there buzzing all night.

UPDATE: ISAAC

If you recall, I have been pretending that I am Jewish with him. I had to change the subject, it's getting too hard to live a lie. 

HAHAHAHAHA YES IT WORKED AND I DIDN'T EVEN SAY THE PUNCH LINE YET

#icant

UPDATE: JOHN

EXPERIMENT: Straight-up 'hittinonhim

My previous correspondence worked. Got his digits, bitches! 

And I will. He's a sex god. 

Ben is pretty quiet

UPDATE: GREG

I don't have high hopes for us since I already feel like I'm carrying the conversation.

My middle name is not Joanne. 

Ok so Jason is super duper hot. Look at that bod.

Jack from Titanic swaggg.  

So I started talking to him and responded like a FOOL to his message because I forgot who he was. 

Eeeee I need to be more careful. Like....his bod. #icant 

also, i lied about running. i just wanted to sound hot and athletic.

UPDATE: ADEEL


Last post: Adeel commented on my necklace. I responded by saying it was from the 99 cent store and he said he couldn't even tell. So nice. 

Brian and I chatted and I forgot to respond. I obviously was not playing hard-to-get, but it worked!!!!! Seriously, didn't know it was that easy. 

Picture #3

The screenshot got cut off there, but the rest of the sentence says "and punched in the face." I have gotten my shirt pulled off by someone though. 

Yonaton, like I can't even. 

At least he has his shirt on. 

I think Grindr was the app to download, Yonaton. 

Until next time,

Your Girl, Tinderella. 

#pickuplinetime

UPDATE: ISAAC

I had to continue the "I'm Jewish" game with Isaac. This included pretending to know how to read hebrew. No idea what he said or what it meant, but I'm going along with it. 

Going really well. I think we're sexting in Hebrew.

Then it got REALLLLL WEIRD.

SHALOM, Isaac. I'm done here. 

My next message was to  Chris. He's really busy today because I haven't heard back and I saw he has been on Tinder. 

On to Andrew who was reading a book...

Oh heyyy pickup line time!!!

No answer. 

Ok so there is a man named Rowdy that exists. I have actually be adding mostly hot guys, but his name really caught my eye. Like, is that his real name or a Tinder pseudonym? Oh hi, Rowdy. 

I just didn't have a good feeling of where this was going and didn't continue chatting with him